Social Media, Gaming, and Mental Health: What Your Child Really Needs From You

Written by Dr Lucy Russell DClinPsyc CPsychol AFBPsS

Every week in my psychology practice, my team and I sit with young people who are struggling. Behind their anxiety, low mood, or behavioural challenges, we often discover a common thread – their relationship with the digital world.

A teenager who can’t sleep because she’s worried about missing out on social media updates.

A young boy whose gaming habits have taken over his life, leaving no room for real-world connections.

A twelve-year-old dealing with cyberbullying who feels there’s no escape, even at home.

As a clinical psychologist, I work with children and young people experiencing emotional and behavioural difficulties that affect their wellbeing. In many cases, I see how screen time, gaming, or social media can either contribute to these challenges or create barriers to recovery.

Parents frequently ask me questions like “If my son is gaming 5 hours a day what can I actually do?” or “What’s social media doing to my teenager’s self-esteem?”

These aren’t simple questions, but after years of supporting families through these challenges, I’ve learned that protecting our children’s mental health in the digital age isn’t about fighting technology. It’s about helping our children develop a healthy relationship with it.

The Pressure to Be Perfect: How Social Media Shapes Young Minds

In my clinic, I often see how social media affects young minds. While it can be a wonderful tool for connection and creativity, it can also become overwhelming.

One teenage client described it perfectly: “It’s like being at a party where everyone’s showing off their best moments, all day, every day.” This constant comparison can be exhausting for young people who are still developing their sense of self.

When Gaming Becomes All-Consuming: Understanding Gaming Addiction

Gaming addiction is increasingly common in my practice. The signs often develop gradually – first, it’s difficulty putting down the controller, then it’s missed meals, declining grades, and eventually, a complete withdrawal from family life and offline friendships.

Parents often tell me, “They’re like a different person when we try to stop them playing.” As a mum of a teenage son who loves gaming, I can certainly relate to that.

If your child shows signs of gaming addiction, here’s what you can do:

• Set up a family meeting to express your concerns calmly and listen to their perspective.
• Create a structured daily routine with specific gaming times, developed as a family team. Work collaboratively with your child and you’ll have better success than if they feel they are having a routine forced on them.
• Implement a ‘cool-down’ period before bed (at least one hour tech-free, ideally two hours).
• Use parental controls to enforce agreed limits.
• Ensure all devices stay out of bedrooms.
• Seek professional help if the situation feels out of control (see below).

For severe cases where gaming has taken over:

• Contact your GP for a referral to CAMHS or a clinical psychologist
• Look into specialist gaming addiction support services (see below)
• Talk to other parents. There should be no shame here. You will be likely to find that you know other parents with similar concerns to yours and supporting one another can be a great support.

Beyond Screen Time Limits: Creating Boundaries That Actually Work

The most successful boundaries I’ve seen families implement start with clear, consistent rules about where and when technology can be used. Teenagers’ brains are not fully developed and they do not have the emotional regulation skills to manage the powerful pull of technology fully by themselves.

The bedroom should be a tech-free zone. This should your one non-negotiable.

Why?

Because devices in bedrooms interfere with sleep, create secretive behaviour patterns, and make it harder to monitor usage.

Practical steps for removing tech from bedrooms (I know this can be really hard, so take it slowly):

• Set up a family charging station in a common area
• Invest in a traditional alarm clock for wake-ups (to remove the excuse that “I need my phone because of the alarm”)
• Help your child develop a relaxing bedtime routine without screens
• Help them make bedrooms cozy and appealing with other activities like reading, mindful colouring or art.
• Be consistent – follow your own rules. This is possibly the hardest bit of all and I can tell you that I struggle with it as much as any parent!

Starting Meaningful Conversations About Digital Life

In my experience, one of the most powerful tools we have as parents is simple conversation. This needs to be accompanied by non-judgmental listening.

Instead of asking “What games did you play today?”, try an open question like “What was the most interesting thing you saw online today?” or “What made you laugh on social media today?” These open-ended questions invite real dialogue about your child’s digital experiences.

Teaching Critical Thinking in a World of Information Overload

As a psychologist, I believe that teaching children to think critically about what they see online is just as important as teaching them to read and write.

This means helping them understand:

• How to verify information they find online
• Why some content might make them feel certain ways
• How to recognize when they need a break from screens
• What makes a healthy online interaction

Make sure you gently introduce these topics into everyday conversations.

When Digital Life Becomes Too Much: Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling

Through my clinical work, I’ve learned to spot signs that a child might be struggling with their digital life.

Watch for:

• Changes in sleep patterns
• Increased anxiety when separated from devices
• Withdrawal from face-to-face interactions
• Mood changes after using social media (this is a big one)
• Difficulty concentrating on non-screen activities

Finding the Good: How Technology Can Enhance Your Child’s Wellbeing

I often remind parents that technology itself isn’t the enemy. I’ve seen children develop wonderful creative skills through digital art, build meaningful friendships through online communities, and grow their confidence through shared interests in digital spaces.

The key is helping them use technology in ways that enhance rather than diminish their wellbeing. This means, above all, close monitoring, even for older teens.

When Online Spaces Feel Unsafe: Supporting Your Child Through Cyberbullying

In our practice, Everlief, we have supported many families through cyberbullying situations.

The most important thing I tell parents is to keep communication open and judgment-free. Children need to know they can come to you about online problems without fear of having their devices taken away as a first response.

There are organisations that can help. See below.

Building Healthy Digital Habits That Last (Without the Family Drama)

Just as we teach children about physical health, they need guidance on digital wellness.

Some practical strategies I recommend to families:

• Regular “digital detox” activities that the whole family participates in.
• Designated tech-free zones in the house.
• Family agreements about device use that everyone (including parents) follows.
• Regular check-ins about online experiences.
• Balanced activities that include both online and offline interests.

Developing “Digital Emotional Intelligence”: Why It Matters More Than Ever

One of the most valuable skills we can teach our children is emotional awareness in digital spaces.

Use your own experiences and open-minded discussions with your child to explore:

• How different types of content affect their mood.
• When they’re using technology to avoid difficult emotions.
• How to maintain empathy in online interactions. We do not want our children to become trolls or cyber-bullies, or simply to post something impulsively that they will later regret.
• Ways to set healthy boundaries in digital relationships.

Getting Help: UK Digital Mental Health Resources for Parents

Several UK organizations offer excellent support for parents dealing with digital wellness concerns:

• Young Minds (youngminds.org.uk) – Offers parent helplines, support for children and teens, and specific guidance about gaming and social media
• NSPCC (nspcc.org.uk) – Provides detailed advice about online safety and parental controls
• Parent Zone (parentzone.org.uk) – Specializes in digital family life and offers some free resources
• NHS Gaming Addiction Support – Available through your GP
• Internet Matters (internetmatters.org) – Age-specific advice about digital wellbeing; this is an excellent resource we recommend to many parents in our clinic.

“Is My Child Ready?” – A Professional Guide to Age-Appropriate Digital Access

One of the most common questions parents ask me is when their child should be allowed access to different digital platforms.

While every child develops differently, I find it more helpful to look for signs of emotional readiness rather than focusing solely on age.

Signs your child might be ready for social media include:

• They can identify and manage their emotions when things don’t go their way.
• They understand that online actions have real-world consequences.
• They show empathy in their everyday interactions.
• They can maintain healthy friendships in the real world.
• They’re willing to talk to you about problems or concerns.
• They demonstrate good judgment in other areas of their life.
• They understand basic online safety concepts.

When introducing new technologies, I recommend a gradual approach:

• Start with closely supervised activities on family devices.
• Move to limited independent use with regular check-ins.
• Progress to more independence as they demonstrate responsibility.

What does “demonstrating responsibility” look like? Watch for these behaviours:

• They follow agreed-upon time limits without constant reminders.
• They’re honest about their online activities.
• They come to you when they encounter something concerning.
• They show balance between online and offline activities.
• They respect family boundaries around device use.
• They think critically about content they encounter online.

Creating a Healthier Digital Future For Your Child- Starting Today

There’s no perfect approach that works for every family but I hope my pointers in this article will help get you started in a positive direction. What matters is finding strategies that fit with your family’s values and needs, while keeping your child’s mental wellbeing at the centre of the conversation.

If you’re concerned about your child’s relationship with technology, don’t wait to seek help. Early intervention can prevent problems from escalating, and support is available through your GP, CAMHS, or private clinical psychologists specializing in young people’s mental health.

Related Articles

Good Enough Parenting: Parents in the Real World

What Is Screen Addiction And How Can You Help Your Child?

Parent’s Guide: How Much Screen Time is Right for Your Child?

Dr Lucy Russell is a UK clinical psychologist who works with children and families. Her work involves both therapeutic support and autism assessments. She is the Clinical Director of Everlief Child Psychology, and also worked in the National Health Service for many years.

In 2019 Lucy launched They Are The Future, a support website for parents of school-aged children. Through TATF Lucy is passionate about giving practical, manageable strategies to parents and children who may otherwise struggle to find the support they need.

Lucy is a mum to two teenage children. She lives in Buckinghamshire with her husband, children, rescue dog and three rescue cats. She enjoys caravanning and outdoor living, singing and musical theatre.

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