Looking After Your Child’s Mental Health At Christmas

Reviewed by Dr Lucy Russell DClinPsyc CPsychol AFBPsS

The ideal vision of Christmas time is engaging joyfully in seasonal traditions and holiday gatherings, exciting exchanges of gifts and gathering round a toasty fire.

But for some children (and parents), the holiday season can induce feeling of stress and anxiety, and Christmas Day itself can feel quite overwhelming.

If we can ensure our children are coping, we are more likely to be able to ensure our own needs are met too.

So, how can you enjoy the festive period whilst also looking after your child’s mental health at Christmas?

Your Child’s Mental Health at Christmas

Christmas, while joyous for many, can be a deeply emotional time for others. For children, the season often comes with heightened expectations and intense experiences, which can sometimes weigh heavily on their mental health. Understanding the challenges they may face is the first step to supporting them through this period.

Neurodivergence

Children who are neurodivergent may find Christmas especially overwhelming.

The season brings unpredictable routines, sensory overload, and social demands that can be incredibly difficult to process. Bright lights, loud music, and crowded gatherings might all create an environment that feels chaotic and distressing.

These children may find themselves struggling with emotions they don’t fully understand or control. For them, the festive season can be as exhausting as it is bewildering, leaving them yearning for the comfort of familiarity.

Eating Disorders

For children with eating disorders or very selective eating, Christmas can be an especially fraught time. The intense focus on food and communal meals may amplify feelings of anxiety or dread. Struggles with body image or fears around eating in front of others can heighten emotional distress.

The constant reminders of food-centric traditions can make the season feel like an unrelenting challenge.

Mental Health Challenges

For children already experiencing mental health issues, Christmas can magnify their struggles. Social situations, the heightened energy of the season, increased demands on behaviour…these are just a few of the trickier aspects of the season.

Conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, or seasonal affective disorder (SAD) may make the festive period feel isolating or overwhelming.

The emotional toll of trying to meet expectations—spoken or unspoken—can lead to your child feeling inadequate or frustrated. For some children, simply “getting through” Christmas is a daunting prospect.

Family Conflict

Tensions within families can also cast a shadow over the holidays. Financial pressures, disagreements, or the strain of juggling responsibilities can create an atmosphere of unease. Children are often acutely aware of these undercurrents, even when adults try to shield them.

The stress of navigating these dynamics can weigh heavily on young minds. Feelings of helplessness or uncertainty may take root, leaving children shouldering heavy burdens.

Grief and Loss

The absence of a loved one can feel particularly sharp at Christmas. Whether through bereavement, divorce, or separation, a sense of loss can make the festive season feel incomplete.

Children may grapple with intense emotions like grief, confusion, or sadness, as they navigate a holiday that looks and feels different from what they’ve known.

Signs Your Child May Be Struggling

In the lead up to Christmas, look out for any signs that your child may be finding things challenging and try to understand their triggers. 

Indicator	What To Look Out For
Withdrawal	Are they saying no to activities or isolating themselves from social situations?
Irritability	The Christmas term can be one of the academic year’s busiest, so expect some tiredness and irritability. However, if your child’s behaviour has noticeably changed, have a chat about what’s going on for them.
Sleep	Expect them to be more tired through excitement and increased activity. Notice if they have a change in sleeping habits or are finding it difficult to sleep.
Anxiety	Notice if they are using anxious or negative language or are complaining of headaches and tummy aches, as these can be signs of anxiety.

10 Ways to Look After Your Child’s Mental Health During the Christmas Season

The festive season can be an overwhelming time for children and teens.

Small, intentional actions can help your child navigate the challenges they may face, creating a sense of balance and security amidst the excitement.

Here are my 10 best practical and effective ideas to support your child’s well-being during the holidays:

1. Maintain Normal Routines
   Try to keep school and home routines consistent in the lead-up to Christmas. Children thrive on predictability, so sticking to regular mealtimes, bedtimes, and daily schedules can provide stabilizing “anchor points”. Even as the holidays approach, these familiar structures can help them feel secure. For example, if you always read a bedtime story, keep this ritual going, even on busy days.
2. Encourage Healthy Mini-Mindfulness Practices
   Introduce simple mindfulness practices to help your child manage stress and stay grounded. Try a body scan. To guide your child through a 3-minute body scan, ask them to sit or lie comfortably, close their eyes, and slowly focus their attention on each part of their body from head to toe, noticing any sensations, tension, or relaxation without judgment. For younger children, you might try a “balloon breathing” exercise, asking them to place a hand on their stomach and feel it rise and fall as they breathe slowly, just like inflating and deflating a balloon. Mini-mindfulness practices like body scans and balloon breathing help reduce stress, improve emotional regulation, and promote a sense of calm by grounding children in the present moment.
3. Plan Holiday Events Together
   Involve your child in planning festive activities, such as choosing a Christmas tree or making decorations. Collaborative planning gives them a sense of control and something to look forward to. Look for budget-friendly options like a trip to see local holiday lights, crafting homemade ornaments, or having a family movie night with hot chocolate.
4. Encourage Balanced Eating
   Festive treats are a big part of the season, and your child should enjoy them guilt-free. However, help them balance these with nutritious meals to keep their brain and body healthy. For example, start the day with a healthy breakfast like porridge with fruit to keep energy levels, blood sugar and mood steady.
5. Prioritise Quality Sleep
   A good night’s sleep is essential for both mental and physical well-being. Aim to maintain consistent bedtimes where possible, even during the holidays. Create a calming bedtime routine, such as dimming the lights, reading a favourite story, or using lavender-scented sprays, to help your child wind down after busy days.
6. Get Outdoors with Family Activities
   Fresh air and physical activity can work wonders for stress and mood. Head outside for a bike ride, a family walk, or even a playful snowball fight if weather permits. For something festive, consider joining a local event like a Santa fun run or exploring a nearby Christmas market.
7. Encourage Gratitude and Positive Self-Talk
   Gratitude helps shift focus away from stress and toward the positives. As a family, share something you’re grateful for each day, whether it’s a cosy evening together or a beautiful winter sunset. Encourage your child to replace self-critical thoughts with affirmations like, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
8. Support Rest and Decompression Time
   Overstimulation is common during the holidays. Encourage your child to take breaks to recharge. Self-soothing activities like listening to calming music, colouring, or simply lying under a soft blanket with a favourite book can help them regulate their emotions and avoid sensory overwhelm.
9. Model Healthy Stress Management
   Children look to their parents for cues on handling stress. Show them how to stay calm in challenging moments. If something doesn’t go as planned, take a deep breath and approach it with humour and perspective. Your ability to remain composed will be containing for your child and teach them valuable coping skills.
10. Promote Self-Care Practices
    Help your child understand the importance of self-care. Whether it’s taking a warm bath, spending time on a hobby, or enjoying a quiet moment with a pet, these small acts can make a big difference. Self-care teaches children to prioritise their emotional needs and build resilience.

Neurodivergence and Looking After Your Child’s Mental Health at Christmas

Children who are neurodivergent can often have a particularly tough time with holiday stressors. Coping can take a lot of extra mental effort.  

The best way to support them is to work with their unique needs and create a safe and comfortable environment for them.

• Be realistic & keep things simple. Setting unrealistic expectations can lead to stress and meltdowns.  Try to pace gift-giving to avoid overstimulation.
• Communicate by talking about plans for any big days including in the lead up period.  Consider how long an event will last, who might be there and whether there will be surprises.
• Educate others. Let your family and friends know about your child’s needs and any mental health problems.  Let them know how they can help.
• Whole family gatherings might feel overwhelming. Prepare your child around what to expect and reassure them they can take time out to help with emotional self-regulation.
• If your child finds social interactions challenging, help to prepare them ahead of any social events and offer some flexibility. For example, “let’s stay for 20 minutes to start with and see how you are feeling”.
• Meeting new extended family members might be daunting. Perhaps you could show your child some photographs and talk about the family whilst putting names to faces.
• Plan ahead by using visual schedules or social stories that detail times, activities and who they will see.
• Limit overstimulation. Flashing fairy lights, loud Christmas music everywhere and crowds can be too much. It might help to have noise-cancelling headphones or quieter activities available to hand.
• Use positive reinforcement by praising their efforts for trying new things, coping with social situations or remembering to share with siblings or friends. Celebrate the wins rather than focusing on things that don’t go well.

Dealing With Holiday Blues – Top Tips for Parents

In late December the holiday blues can take hold. After all the energy and excitement of Christmas and New Year, they might be left feeling sad, frustrated or lost. Not to mention the mental preparation needed for returning to school after the break.

1. Validate how your child is feeling. It’s OK to feel sad after all the excitement.  Perhaps get them to reflect on what they enjoyed most & talk about gifts or activities that were fun.
2. Write some ‘thank you’ letters together.
3. Set some new goals and activities and plan something to look forward to.
4. Plan for next Christmas – think about new traditions to carry forward.

My ultimate top tip is……..share the task of taking the magic of Christmas decorations down with your children.  I have always done this gradually over 3 or 4 days as the house can look very bare & stark otherwise!

Back to Normal Routines

I would always recommend a gradual but purposeful return to structure and daily routines. 

This can help children to make the transition from the excitement of the Christmas holidays and the irregularity in routines that often comes with it.

Younger children and older children alike will benefit from getting ready to go back to school after the Christmas break by gradually pulling bedtimes back to normal, preparing uniforms and bags and kit for any extra-curricular activities they attend.

If your teenager has enjoyed more screen time and social media over the Christmas, talk to them about the holiday break being over and setting boundaries as they transition back to normal routines.

Related Articles

Dealing With Christmas Stress

Make Your Home a Mental Health Haven for Your Child

Stress in Children: Powerful Action Steps for Parents [+ Free PDF Guide]

Hayley Vaughan-Smith is a Person-Centred Counsellor accredited by the National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society. She is the founder and counsellor at The Ridge Practice in Buckinghamshire, and counsellor at Everlief Child Psychology.

Hayley has a special interest in bereavement counselling and worked as a bereavement volunteer with Cruse Bereavement Care for four years.

Hayley is mum to 3 grown up girls, and gardening and walking in nature is her own personal therapy. Hayley believes being in nature, whatever the weather, is incredibly beneficial for mental health well-being.

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