Resilience Activities for Teens: Practical Exercises to Try Together
When your teenager is under pressure, it can be hard to know when to step in and when to let them work things out. Young people build resilience through experience and social support: having people they can turn to when things get difficult.
These resilience activities for teens offer practical ways you can support your child’s well-being and help them become more resilient, from handling setbacks to asking for help. Emotional resilience doesn’t mean staying cheerful through everything. Your teenager can feel upset and still find a way forward.
You can use the activities below to help your teenager practise four skills, which you can remember as “RISE“: Respond flexibly, Identify strengths and support, Sustain your energy, and Empower yourself. Try them together and adjust them to suit your teenager’s age, interests and needs. Think of RISE as a handy reminder. You can start wherever your teenager needs a bit of support.
Key takeaways
- You can help your teenager build resilience by giving them chances to try things, with encouragement from people they trust. Small, practical activities can help them handle setbacks and notice their strengths.
- Use RISE as a reminder of four skills to practise: Respond flexibly, Identify strengths and support, Sustain your energy, and Empower yourself.
- Keep activities relevant, safe and manageable. Let your teenager choose the pace, especially when trying something that feels daunting.
- Encourage your teenager to notice what they can control, use their support networks and ask for specific help when they need it.
R: Respond flexibly
Being flexible helps your teenager respond when things don’t go to plan. It might mean finding another way to complete a task, looking at a problem from a different angle or noticing when their self-talk has become harsh. A growth mindset means recognising that you can learn and improve. You can help your teenager practise emotional resilience by talking about what they might try next time, rather than treating a mistake as a failure.
Let your teenager hear you speaking kindly to yourself when something goes wrong. For example, if you make a mistake, you might say, “That didn’t go as I’d hoped. I’ll think about what I can try next time.” Your teenager can practise the same approach, building mental resilience and learning to bounce back from setbacks, even if it takes time. You can use these activities to support your child’s well-being, but if they’re struggling with their mental health, they may need more help too.
Try a Plan B
Choose an everyday situation where plans might change, such as a cancelled meet-up or a missed bus. If they enjoy making up scenarios, turn it into a quick resilience game and take turns suggesting a Plan B. This gives them a chance to try out coping strategies. Ask:
- What might you feel if this happened?
- What could you do next?
- Who could you contact if you needed help?
Keep it light. You can help your teenager learn to cope with adversity by starting with everyday frustrations like these. A change of plan can feel upsetting while still leaving your teenager with choices. You’re helping them practise healthy coping skills, not expecting a perfect response.
I: Identify strengths and support
Your teenager has skills, experience and personal qualities to draw on, even if they don’t always notice them. You can also help them notice the social support they already have. Their support networks might include family members, friends, school staff and professionals. You could make a short list together of who they’d feel comfortable approaching for different kinds of help.
Your teenager might find it hard to see their own strengths when they’re focused on what has gone wrong. Help them notice character strengths such as kindness, patience, humour or determination. Point to something specific: perhaps they included someone who was left out or stayed patient with a younger sibling. When you point out these small acts of kindness, you’re showing your teenager what you appreciate about them. That can be easier to take in than simply hearing, ‘You’re a kind person.’
You could also invite your teenager to notice acts of kindness they receive during the week, such as a friend checking in or someone helping with homework. Ask which felt helpful. Acts of kindness can be small: you just want to help your teenager notice when someone cares about them. There’s no need to turn it into another task.
Revisit a past challenge
Invite your teenager to choose a past challenge they managed, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect. Pick something they’re comfortable discussing. You could ask:
- What made it hard?
- What helped you get through it?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- Is there anything from that experience you could use now?
Talking this through can help your teenager develop self-awareness: noticing their feelings, strengths and what helps when life gets difficult. You’re encouraging a growth mindset and supporting their emotional resilience by reminding them of something they’ve already got through. Listen with curiosity, and don’t worry if they can’t find a lesson in every experience. If you’re using these questions as teaching resources with young people at school, let them choose whether to share their answers.
Asking for what you need is sometimes called self-advocacy. Help your teenager practise the words they could use. If your child is at secondary school, they might say to a teacher, “I’m finding it hard to start this task. Could you help me work out the first step?” Rehearsing the words at home can make it easier to ask when the moment comes.
S: Sustain your energy
It’s harder to cope with everyday pressures when you’re worn out. You can support your teenager’s physical resilience by helping them make time for sleep, movement and rest. Enjoyable activities can also give them a healthy way to express themselves and take a break from difficult feelings.
Ask what helps your teenager feel refreshed. It could be playing sport, drawing, listening to music, spending time outside or chatting with a friend. You can help your teenager make room for these self-care activities when they need to manage stress. For many young people, a chat with a friend is also a welcome source of social support.
Make a small-step plan
If your teenager wants to try something that feels daunting, make a resilience ladder together: a series of small steps towards something they’d like to do. For example, if they want to join a club but feel nervous, they could:
- Find out what happens at the club.
- Visit with someone they know.
- Stay for a short time.
- Decide whether they want to go again.
Your teenager can choose the pace and repeat a rung on the resilience ladder before moving on. These positive actions don’t have to be big: asking one question about the club may be enough for today. Give them time to get comfortable with each step. You want them to feel a little more confident, rather than pushed into something overwhelming.
E: Empower yourself
Your teenager can’t control every situation or another person’s choices. You can help them build mental resilience by looking together at what they can influence: what they say, who they ask for help and what they try next. Who in their support networks would they feel comfortable talking to? Expressing a preference or asking for what they need is a form of self-advocacy. Positive actions might include arranging a chat with someone they trust or choosing one small part of a task to start.
When a problem arises, make two simple lists together: “What I can control” and “What I can’t control”. If a friend cancels plans, for instance, they can’t make the friend change their mind. They can suggest another day, make different plans or turn to someone for social support when they feel disappointed. They don’t have to bounce back straight away.
Practise stating a preference
For one day, encourage your teenager to notice when they say, “I don’t mind,” even when they do have a preference. They could practise saying, “I’d rather meet at the park,” or, “I need a bit more time to think.” They don’t have to get their own way every time. You’re helping them see that their choices and opinions count. Start with an easy decision, such as what to have for lunch, so they can practise self-advocacy without too much pressure.
Frequently asked questions
They’re simple exercises you can try with your teenager to help them respond to setbacks, notice their strengths and work out what to do next. You might come up with a Plan B together, talk about a challenge they’ve already managed, or break a daunting goal into smaller steps.
Start with something your teenager is dealing with now, and ask if they’d like to try one of the activities together. Let them hear you speaking kindly to yourself when you make a mistake, and encourage them to take things at their own pace.
You don’t need to do every activity at once. Choose one that feels relevant this week and talk afterwards about what your teenager noticed.
No. You can use them to support your child’s well-being, but they can’t replace professional help if your teenager is struggling with their mental health. You could help them speak to their GP or someone at school who can advise you both about further support. YoungMinds’ advice for parents can also help you understand your teenager’s mental health and find support.
A steady way to build resilience
You don’t need to practise every activity at once. Choose one activity that fits what your teenager is dealing with this week. If they’re unsure where to start, you can use the resilience ladder to find a small first step and help them build resilience. Link the activities to your teenager’s daily life challenges, such as friendship worries or a difficult week at school, so they can see how they might help. Talk afterwards about what felt helpful and what they’d change next time. Your teenager will build emotional resilience and mental resilience over time. They don’t need a perfect response to every problem. Sometimes, the most helpful social support you can offer is to listen and help them work out one small next step. Help them stay connected to their support networks, so they know who to turn to when they need a hand.
The American Psychological Association’s resilience guide for parents and teachers offers more ideas for supporting these skills.
Dr Lucy Russell is a UK clinical psychologist and Clinical Director of Everlief Child Psychology. She qualified as a clinical psychologist from Oxford University in 2005 and worked in the National Health Service for many years before moving fully into her leadership and writing roles.
In 2019 Lucy launched They Are The Future, a support website for parents of school-aged children. Through TATF Lucy is passionate about giving practical, manageable strategies to parents and children who may otherwise struggle to find the support they need.
Lucy lives with her family, rescue cats and dog, and also fosters cats through a local animal welfare charity. She loves singing in a vocal harmony group and spending time in nature.
